I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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