I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
