he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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