i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
