HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
