Kiss
Puke
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
