nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
