areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
