After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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