His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
