Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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