did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
