The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
