when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
