i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
