I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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