i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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