My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
