This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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