Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
