Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I AM VODKA MAN
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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