just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
