Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
40s are totally the cure
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
