Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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