you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
