I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
