Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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