get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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