i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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