Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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