Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
