am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
