Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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