I think I died a long time ago.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So vagazzling was a success
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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