And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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