You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
