I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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