I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
