Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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