why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
