I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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