Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
