btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Green mimosas i think yes
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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