I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
