i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
