Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
