Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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