Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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