I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
