hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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