his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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